But she couldn’t have been more wrong.
It happened a week after she’d returned to Riverview. Several dog items were now around the house, ranging from toys to food to bedding. Sage was ever the loyal companion, and she seemed to really love her new home. Kenzie had also invested in a nice collar for her, one with a heart tag to signify her love for the dog.
Kenzie’s cell phone rang one day as she was preparing to take Sage for a walk. She’d already met Kenzie’s parents as well as Flossy, though Flossy didn’t take too kindly to having another dog in her yard.
Kenzie saw from her caller ID that it was Elliott calling her.
“Hi, Elliott.”
“Kenzie,” he said in a slightly disgruntled tone, “I just got off the phone with the police chief of Appaloosa Plains. Good job on your latest case.”
“Thank you,” Kenzie replied, wondering why Elliott sounded so discontent if he was calling to congratulate her.
“He tells me that you were working really closely with Austin Crowley, who managed to find a cure for the experiments that were being conducted on the animals.”
Kenzie felt her pulse quicken. She was hoping Elliott wouldn’t find out about that part.
“Why would that matter?” she asked carefully.
“Because he has the skills and qualifications to have conducted those experiments himself, and it even says in your report that he was a liable suspect but that you cleared him. That’s interesting, considering the paper I just got stating how you cracked the case includes how you and Austin used to date in high school.”
Kenzie almost collapsed. Sage sensed that something was amiss, so she trotted over to her owner, sat down next to her, and looked alert in case something burst out of the phone.
“What are you trying to say?” she asked in what she hoped was a nonchalant manner.
“I think it’s obvious. I asked you before if the case would cause a problem for you since it involved animals. You assured me that it wouldn’t. But I never thought you’d continue to work on a case where there was a conflict of interest involved. That conflict being that you were not only in the same town as someone you knew, and still associate with, but also someone that could have easily been the prime suspect. In fact, he more or less was the prime suspect. If it hadn’t been for those other three confessing, they’d be released from custody because of what you did. Kenzie, you pursued a case even though it was highly probable that you’d change your verdict based on favoritism.”
“Elliott, that’s not true. You know I’d never do that. Austin and I are just friends, and…”
“Just friends? Then tell me why, in this article talking about your success at returning all the pets to their rightful owners and getting three crooks in jail, it says some witnesses saw you and Austin dancing, and then kissing.”
Kenzie was sure she was going to heave. She grasped a nearby chair for support, teetering on it as Sage’s ears perked up.
“I never thought I’d have that kind of problem with you, Kenzie,” Elliott continued. “And the fact that you were so conspicuous about it! Really, kissing a guy in public? A guy directly involved with your case? Which, as I recall, is the main reason you went to Appaloosa Plains to begin with? Sure, you were originally going to get a pet, but then you went because of a case. Seems to me that you spent more time socializing than working.”
“Elliott, it was a mistake. I feel terrible about it, believe me. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. But I can promise you that it will never happen again.”
“I’d like to believe you, but we can’t take that chance. You're right though, it won't happen again. It’s a mandatory voluntary dismissal if a detective pursues a case where there’s a conflict of interest involved.”
“Are you saying that…I’m…fired?”
“I’m sorry, Kenzie. I hate to do that, but it’s the law. That’s the way it has to be. My hands are tied.”
Kenzie’s legs could no longer support her weight. She collapsed onto the floor, dropping her phone in the process. Had it been a lesser quality phone, it would have shattered into about 20 pieces that scattered all over the wood floor. As it was, it just bounced off the floor boards with a thud, landing face-down, thus ending the call. Sage sat next to Kenzie and tried to comfort her, but it was no use. Kenzie had never felt so distraught in her life.
It felt like she’d lost everything . All her dreams, everything she’d strived for, everything she’d worked so hard to achieve…it was all gone. Feeling physically ill, Kenzie crumbled upon the realization.
********************
A couple of days later, Kenzie was lying on her bed with her arm over her face, just thinking about what had gone so wrong in her life.
Telling everyone would be one of the hardest consequences. The other would be cleaning out her office. All of her awards and trophies would no longer be on display, and her key to the city would be confiscated. Someone who makes as big of a mistake that she had didn’t deserve a key to the city.
One mistake. One stupid, heat of the moment mistake, and it had cost her everything. She felt guilty enough about it, but now she felt a million times worse. Why did she have to be so weak? Why hadn’t she just shoved Austin off of her, told him to get lost, and ended it with that?
She felt so desolate, so betrayed, and so culpable. She could hardly live with herself. It felt like years since she’d left the house, and she had no desire to leave it anytime soon. She hadn’t logged into her instant messenger, hadn’t talked to anyone (apart from Sage), and hadn’t done anything other than lie around and binge on fattening foods. At the thought of that, she hoisted herself off her bed and padded to the kitchen, then pulled an ice cream carton out of the freezer before sitting down at the table to dig in.
As she ate, she thought about how, before this case, she’d been at the gym, determined to lose weight. Now look at her, sitting at the kitchen table eating ice cream like it was going out of style. But indulging in sweets seemed like a much better way to cope with her suffering than going to the gym. Still, why couldn't she have the other kind of depression - the kind where a person is so depressed they can't eat anything, thus resulting in massive weight loss?
As she ate her fattening delicacy, Kenzie looked at Sage. The husky looked back at her, and Kenzie could tell that she was feeling helpless. Kenzie hadn’t given her the best welcoming to Riverview. She’d only been there a week, and then Kenzie had spiraled into a state of depression.
She finally decided that, if not for herself, then for Sage, she’d get out of the house for a little bit. She threw on a jacket and scarf, grabbed Sage’s leash, attached it to her collar, and headed outside.
The air was getting more of a chill to it. Kenzie wrapped her scarf more tightly around her neck. Then again, what did it matter if she got sick? She’d already lost everything else, why not her (currently healthy) immune system?
Then she realized that she could lose something else – her car, which she'd received from her parents as a high school graduation present, and even her house. Without her job, she wouldn’t be able to pay her bills. She had plenty saved in the bank since she tended to not be a spontaneous, absent-minded spender, but eventually it would run out. Then where would she be?
For transportation, she could always use cabs, but those also cost money, plus she hated the idea of selling her prized Requiescence. She could always move back in with her parents. But her mother was still suffering a midlife crisis, and Kenzie somewhat blamed herself for that. Part of the reason Constance was having a crisis in the first place was because she wanted to see her daughter get married and have children. Kenzie had thrown all chances of that happening anytime soon out the window. Plus, after she inevitably broke the news to her parents about her job, they wouldn’t be the most comfortable people to live with. That wouldn’t do much for her already fragile nerves. Asking for financial help from them was also out of the question - they had their own expenses, plus they'd supported her for most of her life. It wasn't up to them to bail her out of a situation that she'd gotten herself into. Plus, knowing her mother, she'd just insist she move in with them anyway. How was she even going to tell them?
She could try moving in with the Swansens, but she wasn’t their daughter. She was just their oldest daughter’s childhood best friend. The childhood best friend that had her whole life figured out and had thrown it all away on one stupid mistake. They’d always said she was a good influence on Jillian. They’d hardly be sympathetic now.
Kenzie looked around Riverview and wondered where in the world she could go. The only viable option at the moment seemed to be Jillian, but she was so busy with college that she’d hate to ask her. Besides, she hadn’t lost her house yet. Maybe everything would be okay.
Yeah, and maybe she didn’t make one of the biggest mistakes of her life by woohooing with Austin and continue working on a case despite it being a conflict of interest, making her lose her job that she’d worked so hard to obtain.
Yes, everything would be fine.
Kenzie turned the corner and went back into her house. She took Sage’s leash off and headed into her bedroom to message Jillian, not even bothering to remove her jacket and scarf. When she heard the whole story, Jillian could hardly come up with enough swear words to describe the situation.
WolfKen: My thoughts exactly. I don’t know what to do, Jill. My whole life is just…meaningless now.
LifesABeach: This is what I was afraid of. You didn’t have anything except your job. We talked about that, remember? But believe it or not, you do have other options.
WolfKen: Like what? Moving in with you? I don’t want to be a mooch.
LifesABeach: Well, yeah, you could move in with me, but I was suggesting something else. Think about it. You’ve wanted to be a detective since middle school. You had your heart set on it, and you did everything you could to make it happen. But now it’s been taken away from you, and you’re looking at it like it’s the end of the world. But what if it’s just the beginning? Do you feel like you HAVE to be a detective because that’s what you wanted for so long and worked so hard for? Maybe in your heart, you’re ready for a change. Aren’t you tired of solving other people’s problems and then getting caught in near-death situations? I’m not saying that’s true, but I’m just trying to get you to see the bigger picture.
Kenzie thought about what Jillian had just typed. In a way, she had a point. Kenzie did love her job, and it had been her dream. But it did get tedious after a while – questioning suspects, looking for clues, trying to enjoy a vacation but getting wrapped up in a case, getting caught and barely making it out alive…
Wait, was she truly thinking that? Was she really tired of her job? It had been her dream. But maybe there was another dream waiting for her. Maybe deep down her heart wanted her to do something else. But what? How could she make a fresh start on anything if she didn’t even know what she wanted to do with her life?
LifesABeach: I’m sure you’ll figure that out eventually. It’ll take time. Look at me – I thought I wanted to be an architectural designer, but my real passion is fashion and styles. Maybe you haven’t found your real passion yet. I have an idea, though.
WolfKen: I’ll take anything.
LifesABeach: You should be a PI. Now I know you weren’t that big on that idea, because you said it was just getting hired by someone who thinks their significant other is cheating on them, and then you follow them around and figure out if it’s true or not. But PIs make a lot more money, they’re their own boss, and they can do a case without having to worry about conflicts of interest as long as you don't end up hurting or killing anyone. Really, for a PI, the sky’s the limit. All you’d have to do is get a new persona so people wouldn't recognize you, otherwise they may try to come after you or something.
Kenzie read what Jillian's message, then read it again. On any other occasion, she’d be offended at the suggestion of her becoming a private investigator. But now…maybe that was her true calling. PIs, in addition to what Jillian had already stated, got access to the lab with the high-tech equipment that really helped solve crimes, while still doing what Kenzie had done as a detective. Plus, the thought of being her own boss was pretty tempting. And she already had the necessary training – her college studies were for all sides of the spectrum when it came to investigating.
But who would want to hire a PI who’d lost her job because of a stupid mistake? She asked Jillian that, who sent her a smiley face rolling its eyes.
LifesABeach: People won’t care what you did on someone else’s case. They’re not the cops. Besides, people know you. You’re always in the paper. If they knew the whole story of what happened, they’d probably think you did the right thing by continuing with that case, because you were fighting for something you believe in. You were taking a stand against animal cruelty. Plus, you’re still one of the best. You’ll just have a different title. Big deal. Trust me, people will want you as a PI.
WolfKen: I hope you’re right. I think I’m going to give it a try. I just have to do some research so I can figure out how to begin. Thanks Jill. Now there are only two things left to do – tell my parents and clean out my office.
LifesABeach: Good luck with that.
WolfKen: Thanks, I’ll need it.
Kenzie signed out of her messenger and braced herself. She had to tell her parents what had happened sometime. It was best to get it over with now.
********************
Russ and Constance had been furious to say the least. But not with Kenzie – they were furious with Elliott.
“Imagine, him firing you over something as trivial as having one of your best friends help you!" her mother roared over the phone, which Kenzie had cowardly decided to use as the method of coming clean to her parents the next day, after having time to think about what exactly she'd tell them. "Just because you knew him in high school. It makes me sick!”
Kenzie had generously left out the part about Austin’s confessions as well as that night in her hotel room.
“Kenzie,” her father said, “I know you’re not a kid anymore, and you can fight your own battles, but if you want, I can…”
“No, Dad. That would just make it worse. But thanks anyway.”
Kenzie told her parents goodbye, then headed to the police station. She stopped by Elliott’s office and told her that she was there to pick up her things. He looked sincerely apologetic, and even offered to help her, but she didn’t want to have anything more to say to him.
When she got to her office, she began loading things into boxes. There were law books on the shelves, her trophies lined other shelves, awards covered the walls, and there were also pictures and other personal things, including the wolf light on the wall.
When everything was packed up, Kenzie took one last look at the office that had been almost like her second home for the past two years. She felt tears begin to build up, but she fought them and forced them back into her head. There was no point in prolonging her departure.
At last, she grabbed the last one of the boxes, carried it to her car, and drove home. Along the way, Kenzie thought of what might lay in store for her regarding becoming a PI. She truly did want to give it a shot. She only hoped she wouldn’t fail at that too.
But this wasn’t a time for dwelling on the past. This was a time for new beginnings. Now, a new chapter really was opening in her life, and this time she’d be a better person. Her job wouldn’t be her whole life, she wouldn’t be hesitant to change, and she’d be a better person in the long run.
This time, she was taking a different path in the winding road of life. She didn’t know where it would take her, but she would go with it. She wouldn’t fight it. After all, no one’s life is perfect, and you only live once. Why stay the same for everything the entire time? Variety is a spice of life, and Kenzie was ready to taste it.
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